Today, I have decided to be random. I don't want to reflect this morning. I don't want to write a story today. I just want to type and see where it takes me.
Getting ready for work this morning (and as you can tell, I don't do much at work) I get a call from the military base (my hubs is military, so ya know how that goes) wanting to congratulate me on my pregnancy and offer classes that I could take and so on and so forth.
What these people didn't know, mainly because I switched my PCM to a doc out in town, was that I had suffered a M/C at 4 weeks. I wasn't really upset that I got the call (I mean, how are they to know? I can't expect my doc to have called and told them, when base has nothing to do with my primary care) It just caught me off guard. I actually almost chuckled. It's been about 3 weeks since the M/C and I like to think that, while I will never forget what happened, I have moved forward from it. So, when the lady on the phone asked me when my due date was, I had to stifle my giggle ( it was more of a, 'haha how ironic' laugh than a ' oh this is hilarious' laugh) and tell her- There is no due date...I miscarried. Of course, I was flooded with 'I'm sorry'. I've been swimming in 'I'm sorries' for 3 weeks! (Okay, now I seem like a monster, let me explain; I am sad, I am grieving, I never wanted to lose a pregnancy but after the first week, I was ready for it to be over. I was ready to move on. What happened had happened and I wasn't going to dwell on it, and get depressed and blah blah blah) It just feels like every time I am past the situation, and finally moving on, and trying to conceive again, I get smacked in the face with some subtle reminder of what happened. It's like the universe isn't ready for me to be healed or something. Oh well, like I said no dwelling on it. KEEP MOVING FORWARD! On to a new day, with ripe new possibilities!! One good thing to look forward to? Assassin's Creed 3- after work. Oh, and sex...that's right....sex!
Have a good day fellow bloggers and readers!
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